We often come across moms in the real world who, when we actually have conversations about babies and sleep, they’re surprised when we tell them we breastfed/are breastfeeding our own children…because we’re sleep consultants.
For some reason, there is this HUGE, misguided belief that a sleep trained baby cannot also be breastfed. Like, it’s not possible.
But it actually is! You can have the best of both worlds - a breastfed who is also an amazing sleeper.
Is your baby sleeping while breastfeeding and you’re starting to wonder if it’s messing with their sleep? Is your baby sleeping while breastfeeding and you’re awake, wishing you were asleep too? This post is for you! Keep reading, mama.
Breastfeeding Benefits and Sleep
It’s no secret in the online mom world that breastfeeding is the gold standard for how one feeds their baby.
We come from the idea (and experience) that things don’t always go as planned, and we’ve got grace for however a mom chooses to feed her child. Read 3 Takeaways for How You Feed Your Baby for a little more insight into our philosophies and beliefs about that.
However, there are breastfeeding benefits that actually can help a baby’s sleep that cannot be argued with:
A lowered risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome)
A lowered risk of ear infections (that usually wreak havoc on sleep!)
A stronger immune system (healthier baby = less illness = more consolidated, beneficial sleep)
Deeper bonding during the day which may allow for easier separation at night (more sleep for mom and baby)
There are many other benefits of breastfeeding a baby, but these are the ones that directly relate to sleep, and that’s what we’re all about!
Now, the key to helping your breastfed baby sleep better is to actually separate the activities of feeding and sleep.
No, you don’t have to STOP breastfeeding your baby…you’re just going to be very mindful of when you do it!
You basically want to keep them awake while feeding, which will in turn help them take better, more satiating feedings, which will allow them to sleep longer.
How to Stop Your Baby From Sleeping While Breastfeeding
Your number one priority is to keep your baby awake when feeding them. I know, I know, this may seem impossible, especially if this is the only way your baby knows how to fall asleep.
But your baby CAN do it! Think of it this way…you don’t sleep with a sandwich in your mouth. Your baby doesn’t need to sleep with a boob in theirs!
Here’s how to do it in three simple steps:
Step 1 - Feed Your Baby Upon Waking Instead of Feeding Your Breastfed Baby to Sleep
Since we want to separate the activities of breastfeeding and sleeping, we’re going to instill a gentle rhythm into the daytime hours: Follow the eat-play-sleep routine.
When your baby wakes for the day, start by changing their diaper and offering a full feeding. It should be fairly easy to keep your little one awake during this feed since they just woke up for the day.
After their feeding, you’re going to offer a little bit of playtime. This can look like tummy time, going for a walk, reading a book to your baby, or just having them play on the floor for a bit.
At the end of their wake window, when they’re almost due for a nap, complete a quick nap routine and lay them down for a nap. Do not feed them to sleep.
Either help them fall asleep in a different way (rocking to sleep, holding to sleep, etc.), or do some responsive sleep training and help them learn to fall asleep independently.
What if they get drowsy or start to fall asleep at the breast? Do your best to keep that baby awake during their feedings! Gently tap on their head to keep them engaged in the feed, sing a song, tickle their toes, talk to them, break their latch and relatch them if they’re starting to snooze.
Repeat this rhythm and the Eat-Play-Sleep routine throughout the daytime hours.
Step 2 - Move the final breastfeeding of the day to the beginning of the bedtime routine instead of the last step.
Now it’s time for bedtime! For babies four months and older (and without weight gain issues), instead of offering the final feeding of the day right before or right as they fall asleep for the night, bring the feeding to the beginning of the bedtime routine.
It may currently look like this:
Bath
Diaper and lotion
Pajamas on
Read a book
Breastfeed to sleep
Lay in crib
You’re going to change it to this:
Breastfeed and keep baby awake
Bath
Diaper and lotion
Pajamas on
Read a book
Say prayers/cuddles/kisses
Lay in bed awake to drift to sleep on their own (or rock to sleep or hold to sleep)
This also helps give some space between the activities of breastfeeding and sleep.
Step 3 - Offer alternative ways of falling asleep instead of breastfeeding.
As mentioned above, it doesn’t matter so much how your little one falls asleep now…it just shouldn’t be at the breast anymore, since that’s what you’re looking to move away from.
You can rock them to sleep.
You can soothe them from the side of the crib.
You can just hold them until they fall asleep and then lay them in their crib.
You can sing and rock. You can hum and pat.
There are SO MANY OPTIONS.
You can also say “Goodnight, I love you, sweetheart. I’ll see you in the morning,” and walk out of the room because you’ve taught your baby to sleep independently. That’s what we do with our Lake Country Sleep babies, and, trust me, it’s LIFE GIVING and everybody loves it!
Sleep Training a Baby Who Is Breastfeeding
Now, your next question is probably this…Should I sleep train my baby?
We’ve got a quiz for that! Click below to find out.
And, if you find that you want some guidance and support from a few moms (and sleep coaches) who also breastfed their babies - and taught them to be good little independent sleepers - then we invite you to fill out this application and see if working with our team is the right fit for your family.
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